Tuesday, September 23, 2014

*The Real Church by the Glades Sample Road*

Ok, so I haven't been inspired to write in awhile. A lot has changed in my life since the last time the pen hit the paper. I'm happily engaged to be married to my best friend and we are expecting a child in five days. How amazing is that? I stayed away from my writing, my thoughts, my dreams that I shared with the world, etc. It had nothing to do with my followers or my fans. As the sun rays have hit my face or I found myself staring at Facebook for countless hours, writing crossed my mind many times. I temporarily disconnected from everything I believed in because of judgement passed upon me in a church that I loved. It broke my heart that people could be so cruel and quick to criticize a person because of their life choices. I never passed along my problems to fellow members and I never shared my situation with students. These individuals called themselves people of God and I tend to fully disagree. When I initiated the position as a teacher assistant to pre-k at Church by the Glades, I explained to the director that I was pregnant. I told him that if there were any issues, I wanted him to know immediately. He told me that it was great that I was pregnant and he was happy for me. He failed to ask the "vital" questions, which I was later hounded with. "Are you married?, when do you plan on getting married?," etc. After approximately three months of volunteering my time every Sunday to a position I adored, I was approached by one of the teachers whom I originally admired. She told me she had heard I was pregnant and if that was the case she wanted to know if I was married. I told her that my boyfriend was planning on proposing very soon. Her response was, "Well, how soon?" I could sense that she was passing a judgement on me by the way she was looking at me. I began to feel butterflies in my stomach and became extremely uncomfortable with her insinuations. I asked if there was a problem. She began to explain that it was a problem because I was not married and that I could no longer volunteer. I felt a whole in the pit of my heart and stomach. I could feel my lips quiver and tears formulated in the ducts of my eyes making my vision blurry. I asked her how dare she pass judgement on me as a woman of God? I explained that the director already knew my situation. She explained that she was not passing any judgement, but she was. She told me that I was not following the role as a leader at the church and that people would be uncomfortable if I taught their children. I was completely mortified. I immediately took off my volunteer lanyard with my name on it and handed it to her. She began to get upset. She asked why I was crying and leaving. I responded that she made me completely uncomfortable and that I've never felt so terrible because of her approach. I know my decisions aren't perfect, but church by the glades' logo is, "No Perfect People Allowed." I know that this doesn't make sense to many people, but because of this one individual, my feelings were destroyed and I chose to stay away from a church that I loved with all of my heart. I felt unwanted and betrayed. I know that I've gotten pregnant out of wedlock and that is a sin in the bible, but if that is so, so is being a single mother and many of the volunteers at the location are in fact single moms. This woman that approached me wanted to rush marriage in my life and attempted to preach to me. She told me I was an "unqualified" leader and that leaders are expected to follow the word of god. If that is the case, then why is their motto, "No perfect people allowed?" Why have they chosen to accept all people? I've written a blog about this before, but I had to share it with the world again. I know I will receive a lot of feedback on this, but I don't care. Everyone deserves to know how this church made me feel. After leaving the church, I sent a long message to the director explaining how hurt I was and how judged I felt. He said that the woman had no right to judge me and that he didn't feel that my situation was so serious. He was new at the position and didn't think that my volunteering was a big deal. After discussing my situation with the head pastor, he told me that they wanted to explain to me in person why I could no longer be a teacher. I felt that it was completely inappropriate and I didn't want to be judged or ridiculed again. He explained that I could come back to volunteer, but not as a teacher. I didn't want to do anything else. I was getting my CDA and I needed to be in a preschool setting. His response was to "pray" for "my sins." I cried that entire weekend and found myself in a deep depression blaming myself for the situation. I was devastated and prayed about it on many occasions. I decided to send the woman an email that attacked me and told her exactly how she made me feel. She responded by saying that she never attacked me or judged me, but she did. I asked her how she could act the way she did when she had children of her own. How would she feel if that happened to one of her children? She ignored my questions and said that she continues to pray for me, but I don't need her prayers. My fiancé proposed to me that day. He had already had a ring and it wasn't the ideal proposal that he had wanted to give me, but he was upset because of my feelings. He blamed himself. You see we have been together for 8 years. It wasn't a one night stand. He wanted to take his time and he told me he should have proposed a long time ago. I don't think so. I think when he was ready was the best time. When I told my mother what had happened to me at Church by the Glades, she was mortified. She immediately told me that we were not going to give up a fight. We went to the main location and told them what had happened. They told me someone would contact me. The pastor from the location where it happened did. We got disconnected and he never made an attempt to call me back. So, the issue is unresolved and my feelings are still of betrayal. I cannot walk into the church that I love without feeling judged or frowned upon. I'm sharing this because I don't want this to happen to anyone else. I don't want anyone to feel as insecure and belittled as I did. I don't want anyone to give up on their dream like I did because someone judged them. Maybe by exposing this church, they will fix their attitude. Maybe they will reconsider what they did to me. All I would like and appreciate is an apology, which I never received. Guess what Church by the Glades Sample Road? I'm getting married in May of 2015 and I didn't choose a pastor from any of the locations like my original plan because of how you made me feel. Guess what? I am a stronger and better individual because I am imperfect. In my opinion, you should practice what you preach and follow your motto. I may have sinned, but you committed a greater sin when you passed judgement on my choices and forced me to stop doing a job that I loved. My heart will never be the same because of you. You said you prayed for me? Guess what? I pray for you!!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

*Church by the Glades Really-no perfect people allowed?*

When I began volunteering as a VPK teacher on Sundays at the Church by the Glades Sample Road location, I informed the director that I was pregnant. After the fact, there were no questions asked and I volunteered at the church for three months before I was harshly approached by another teacher. The woman pulled me aside and asked if I was married. I answered truthfully and said, "no." I didn't understand why this woman was pulling me aside and interrogating me about my personal life. I began to feel extremely uncomfortable. She said, "well, I don't think this is going to work out then." I was like, "what do you mean?" She went on to tell me that their had been other "situations" as she's referred to them and people were asked to leave the church. I started to become offended and my adrenaline was pumping. I kept thinking, "how dare this woman judge me? who does she think she is?" I kept saying that I didn't understand where she was leading with her questions. She said, "I wanted to approach you before I went to the director about this." I said,"the director already knows." At this point tears were traveling down my face. "Do you plan on getting married? If so, how soon?" I said I was going to get engaged soon, but I felt extremely uncomfortable. Then the words came,"as a leader, you are expected to follow the word of God." Apparently, I wasn't following the word of God because I was pregnant out of wedlock. I was a horrible influence on children, who half were probably the product of unwed mothers. Her approach was extremely uncomfortable and I couldn't stand the judgement anymore. I took off my volunteer badge and walked out the door hysterically crying. I never felt so judged or betrayed by people who love The Lord as much as I have. I couldn't let it go. I messaged the director and wrote this: "Hello, had I known that I would be judged because of my current situation, I would have never volunteered at church by the glades. I have always loved children and wanted to be a teacher. I wish I was told from the beginning that I couldn't volunteer or pursue my dreams of teaching, I would have gladly stepped away and turned elsewhere. Church by the Glades has always accepted all people and I was glad to call it my church. I never shared my personal life with anyone because I didn't feel it was appropriate. I have never felt so judged in my life. Church is not the place of judgement. God is the only person that can judge me. It was very inappropriate and out of place to crush my dreams and humanity. That is no ones place. I feel extremely hurt and betrayed." The responses I received were that I could return to church by the glades as a volunteer in another field. I could no longer work with children. I didn't need their pity or the scheduled meeting with the pastor that they offered to discuss my situation. My "situation" did not involve the church and I never brought it through the doors. My personal life is my business. My lifestyle shouldn't influence my teaching and they had no right to let me go because their motto is, "no perfect people allowed." I didn't want to return to church because of what was done to me. Eventually, I did and I decided to voice out what had happened to me. I hope this never happens to you! Speak up for yourself, call the media, or post a blog. Make sure the world knows what kind of message people of God shouldn't send. I wasn't the only person that was volunteering that had a "situation", but unfortunately mine was publicized and I wasn't permitted to return as a teacher. It broke my heart. My heart still breaks and I hope that this story is spread and that the individual that did this to me is punished. She had no right and crossed a thin line. Don't let someone do this to you!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

**Sometimes, Your Dreams Seem so Small**


Hello, world! Hello, past followers! I've been gone for awhile. I know. I sincerely apologize. Let me update you on what I've been doing. In January, I registered for my CDA (childcare development associate). My ultimate goal is to teach preschool. One of the requirements was to take a CPR course, which I passed. It was an awesome experience. I was able to take the class with my boyfriend, Joey. He was the only male in the class, so the teacher made him her guinea pig. What can I say, all of the ladies love him. In addition, I started volunteering to teach about God at Sunday school. Currently, I teach a preschool class, which is an awesome experience that will also flatter my future resume. You may think, why would you choose children? I love them! I always have and I have the utmost patience for them. It's rewarding to see them recall a phrase because I was the one that helped them remember. I have stopped writing my book and everything that I've dreamt of achieving. It will progress in the future. For now, I've taken a break from it all, but haven't forgotten. I will continue as soon as I finish my CDA. I miss you people!

Monday, January 6, 2014

**Growing With My Puppy-The benefits of vaccinations."


Well, most of you know that I've acquired a brand new puppy. I have never had a dog before so I didn't know what to expect. I know that most animals need their shots. I didn't know when the appropriate time would be. I did some rearward and found out that puppies get their first round of shots at 8 weeks. So, two days before our puppy, Athena turned 8 weeks we brought her to Pet Smart for her shots. They offer a package that allows puppy to space out all necessary vaccines. Round one, of course, initiates at 8 weeks. It is one shot and a dewormer. The side effects include vomiting and fatigue. Athena waited three hours for her shots and they only took a minute. There were so many interesting breeds of dogs visiting Pet Smart for their shots. Some were there for a yearly examination and others for their 1st, 2nd, and last set of puppy shots. We didn't mind waiting and Athena was extremely calm when the doctor pricked her skin. I was terrified that she would be puking, but she wasn't. Instead, later that night I noticed worms in her stool, which freaked me out. I immediately googled it and all puppies have worms! That's why she was given a dewormer. Now, there are more side effects I know that she will experience in the future package, which occurs at 12 weeks and then 16. It's extremely affordable and everyone is so friendly. I can't wait to have my poor Athena all clear! If you have a puppy, don't wait for them to get shots! They could die before they're a year old. Don't ignore your puppy, do your research! Keep them safe!

Friday, January 3, 2014

*2014- A Shot of Hope*

Photo courtesy of: http://www.thatswhatsheread.net/2014/01/happy-2014/
Many of you know that I've started to write a book about my summers and experiences in Italy. It's a fiction novel based on nonfiction. It's almost two years ago that I set forth on this journey. I have handwritten approximately 300 pages and plan on 300 more. My journey came to an abrupt end when I was pursuing a career as a certified teacher of English as a foreign language. I was hired and then discharged because of political and governmental issues in Europe. This caused me to give up hope in everything that I set forth to achieve. It has been extremely difficult, actually impossible to initiate a career in my primary field of study. I had the opportunity to interview for a career at a dream job, "The Sun Sentinel." The director of Human Resources hand picked my résumé. It was unbelievable and a once in a lifetime chance to start at a good position and to move up. Unfortunately, I had an intense passion for Italy and the Italian language, which was listed in my résumé and caused employers to forfeit me from the position. They feared I would leave and pursue a career overseas. I want to inform all potential employers and future colleagues that it will be highly unlikely, if not impossible, for me to a attain a career in Europe. My father forfeited his Italian citizenship before I was born to begin a better life in America. You see, he didn't know it then, but it was the biggest error he could have committed. Unfortunately, the government didn't give him an ultimatum. The U.S. government took away my future off springs and my right to an Italian citizenship because I was not a minor when my father decided to fight for his place of birth and first 23 years of his life. According to the Italian consulate of Miami, if I would like to gain citizenship in Italy I must live there for three years. You see, this appears easy, but unfortunately, I don't have the funds to live the life of luxury without a guaranteed workplace. So, I start at square one and pray everyday that these laws change. I want what is rightfully mine as the daughter, granddaughter, great grandaughter, great great grandaughter, etc. of Italian immigrants. I want my children to have the opportunity to decide where they can live in the future. As of right now, this is highly impossible, but I will never give up hope. Now, to get back on subject of the work force in America, I have stated and restated many times what the qualifications are for a consideration in any field. You must have at least one year or four years of experience in the selected position. I have mentioned that this is highly unlikely if you don't have the luxury of completing a million internships because you have a full time or part time side job. Many of my friends and colleagues have graduated from an amazing university and have been unable to initiate a career, which is extremely discouraging and detrimental to their health and mentality. It's extremely unfortunate to know that our own success means nothing in our other jobs. As individuals, we are downgraded, thought of as unintelligent, and frowned upon by customers, colleagues, supervisors, and other departments because of our positions. They honestly believe that we aren't intelligent. It's actually humorous that an individual approached me at my place of employment after reading my blog and told me he didn't know I was so smart. He was impressed by my work. I would like to let that individual to know  that all of us are more intellectual than he thinks and just because we are stuck or choose to be in the field we are currently in, doesn't mean we are air heads. All of us are people who have or haven't gone to school. Many of us have our associates, bachelors, masters degrees, etc., but can't start working in our field of choice because of unwanted inexperience. I'd like all of these individuals that downgrade us to take a moment and put themselves in our position. I'm absolutely disgusted with their judgements and naiveness. When in fact they choose to evaluate me because of my position, they are the ones that are disrespectful, insecure, and loose all of their intelligence. We know what kind of people we are and don't let a job define us. I shouldn't let these people get to me, but if they knew my struggle, they'd understand why it hurts. If you feel like this, today, I'm standing up for you and who you are! If you were someone that once judged me, today, you will understand who I am and who we all are. Remember, nothing in this world is easy, it takes hard work. We must work to the top. My self esteem was shot, so I took a break from thinking. I have chosen to take every day as it comes and continue to work at achieving my goals. If it doesn't work out, then I have to believe that God has another plan for me. I can no longer stress or dwell on any circumstance or situation. I will take it all as it comes. I don't care if it takes a lifetime for me to publish my novel or to find a steady career. All I know is that I'm motivated to never give up. Hope is all I have left. Never lose yourself in anything you know you aren't! Never ever give up!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

*Why Most Marriages Don't Last*

Photo Courtesy of: 
http://www.yourdictionary.com/engagement

First off, I'd like to start off by saying that I'm a firm believer that age has nothing to do with marriage. It doesn't matter how old you are when you get married! Your maturity level has everything to do with your relationship! Most marriages end in divorce because of lack of communication. If you've been with someone for a month and are already engaged, don't go through with the marriage! Every relationship initiates with infatuation and grows into love. You can't be in love with anyone in one month. It's likely impossible. The value of a sacred union has greatly changed since the 1950's. Celebrities are known for having "two minute" marriages. Everything the world is exposed to is controlled by the media, which influences our society. If you're currently engaged, don't have Britney Spears as your idol in a working marriage. Chances are, you will be divorced within a year. When making the decision of being engaged, please consider your options. Marriage is sacred and it is meant to unite two individuals for life. Don't always consider that there is a way out! You marry someone because you are prepared to spend your entire life with that person. Don't do it for the materialistic things, such as the ring, the dress, the fairy tale. Marriages require work. They aren't a joke. If you're prepared to work together, then do it! If not, enjoy the relationship while it lasts and move on. My grandparents have been married for over 50 years and have been faithful to one another for the whole time. People make mistakes, but if you want to cheat or see other people, don't get married! Also, you shouldn't agree on bringing new life into the world it you are unprepared. Your divorce will affect your children tremendously. I know many people will say their lives and outcomes are unpredictable, but in fact, you can predict how it will work out. Enjoy your relationship for a few years before marriage. Have a long engagement (At least 6 months). Make sure you both want the same things in life and are compatible. Many people find moving in together before marriage is detrimental to the relationship. In my opinion and against all controversial arguments, move in together. It's the only way you can truly see if your relationship can work. Trust me, you will be faced with almost everything within a marriage while living together. Take my advice or leave it. If you don't seriously contemplate your situation, you'll remember my post in a few years and regret your decision. As I've always said, it's your life and you only get one to live. So, choose your engagements seriously. People aren't made of glass and don't involve innocent children. Whatever you do, if you have children, put their happiness before your own. It's their lives you are affecting. Hope you have understood my message and take my advice seriously. I wish you all the best.